The Chaos of Perfection, Relationships, and the Courage to Change At first, when you meet someone, both you and the other person tend to show your best selves, unless you believe in playing the underdog. This creates an illusion of perfection around their personalities and words until you notice something you disagree with or perhaps something you consider stupid. For an exaggerated example, the person might believe in the flat Earth theory or make a bad decision that affects your time, mood, and energy. Now, when the other person makes a mistake, and you have been thinking that this person was so perfect, you have to battle with your own perception of their perfection. Perhaps you even start hating the other person simply because they got one thing wrong. All of this happens because you thought the person was perfect in the beginning. You did not see them as a human being capable of making mistakes, hurting you, or making you sad. As a result, you start creating distance to avoid gett...
The Real Reason You Are an Introvert You have probably heard the friendly version of the story. You were born wired this way, your battery drains around people, and solitude recharges it. That story is not exactly wrong. It is just not the reason your voice goes missing the moment a room full of people turns to face you. Your introversion is not a trait you inherited. It is a strategy you learned, and a strategy can be retired the moment you decide to. Your Quiet Has a Job Change takes courage. You are the way you are because it works for you. In simple words, it fulfills a goal. Speak less and you get less backlash, fewer conflicts, fewer moments where someone repeats your own words back to you. Not expressing your thoughts, keeping them to yourself, never putting them out there to be judged or argued against: that is a protective cover of quiet, and quiet delivers every single time. This is the part nobody says out loud. You are not quiet because something is missi...