We’ve all been there: someone makes a biting comment about your appearance, your job, or your latest mistake. When the room laughs and you feel that slight sting, they’re quick to follow up with: "I’m just kidding! Don’t be so sensitive." This is put-down humor (or aggressive humor). While it’s often dismissed as a way of bonding or "keeping people humble," it usually carries a hidden price tag. 1. It Creates a "Culture of Defense" When put-downs become the primary way a group interacts, everyone starts living on high alert. Instead of feeling safe to share ideas or be vulnerable, people spend their mental energy crafting shields. The Result: Innovation and genuine connection die because everyone is too busy making sure they aren't the next target. 2. The "Just Kidding" Gaslight The phrase "I’m just kidding" is often used as a get-out-of-jail-free card for saying something mean. It invalidates the victim’s feelings. It shifts the ...
If you are dealing with a manipulator—whether it’s a toxic boss, a draining family member, or an ex—you have likely realized that logic does not work. You cannot "reason" someone into respecting you if they benefit from disrespecting you. Nanami Kento from Jujutsu Kaisen is the blueprint for this. He doesn’t argue with chaos; he creates a system that contains it. To protect your peace, you must stop trying to change them and start changing your environment . 1. The Rule of Ownership: If You Take the Blame, You Make the Rules Before you can set boundaries, you need the right mindset. Most people try to control you because they are insecure. They want you to do things their way so they feel safe. Here is the truth: In the real world, if a project fails, the blame usually falls on one person. If you are that person, you must be the one in charge. Don't let others project their fears onto you. If you are responsible for the result, you get to choose the method. Being firm ...