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I am married but I have feelings for someone and want to be with that person

By Prem Kaithwas

A married person having feelings for someone other than there spouse is a quite complicated thing.

Because there are many layers into this, quite like a movie. Do you like movies?

A simple answer would be just stop your communication with the other person and be with your spouse talk to her/him and tell your spouse that you have feelings for someone.

How your spouse is and How you are is the first thing you should address. How long you've been together? How was your marriage together?

Do you talk to your spouse often or you do not find time for him/her just because of your work. We are humans we get attached to dogs if we spend enough time with a dog. I would say do not ruin your marriage if your spouse is a good person.

Your spouse is your spouse for a good reason. You should consider the things your spouse do for you. If your spouse is not doing it. Talk to them. Talking to your spouse solves the 90% of your problem and if your spouse does not want to talk and just walks away every time you try to talk only then you should consider leaving your partner. 

The person you have feelings for is a good person and you feel like you enjoy the company of this person. Communication could be a good reason why you like this person because you feel its easy for you to share your feelings with this person, share how you feel and expressing your emotions with this person is easy for you that could be a major reason you are ready to ruin your marriage. Oh! you are not?

Know your problems existed long before you had feelings for this new person. You should consider addressing your own shortcomings that you are not seeing in this situation and playing the blame game, painting your spouse as the Villain, yourself as Victim and new person as a Savior.

If you agree that the problem is in you but you can solve it by staying with this new person I want to tell you that your are very wrong. Anything external cannot fix a internal problem. You will treat this new person just like you treat your spouse after you are used to them and in the long run you will be so dissatisfied with life.

Know that we all are flawed but It doesn't mean we are supposed to be left behind by our loved ones. Same way your spouse is flawed, you are flawed and don't make this flaws a reason for separation. Every relation goes through ups and downs. Its not all good all the time, stay strong it is hard to let go of the feelings but you should know that feelings change.

Your feelings you had for your spouse in the beginning of you marriage are not same today. So do you really think that your feelings for this new person will stay same for a long time? Yes you do! But, is that absolute? Is that what you thought about your spouse too in the beginning of your marriage?

Good relations need efforts, time, sacrifices and understanding. Try to understand! do not be blinded by your selfish desires. This desires changes and are up all the time. Try taking a week off and spending time with your spouse. Buy a gift for your spouse. People get what they give, so be aware of what your are giving to other people in your life.

Thanks for reading.

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