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How to Let Go of Someone or Something That Hurt You

By Prem Kaithwas
We often hear advice like “let go and everything will fall into place”. It sounds simple, but letting go is often the hardest thing to do. Whether it’s a person or an incident that hurt you, holding on keeps you stuck. Here’s a practical, step-by-step guide to help you let go and move forward.


Create Boundaries

Start by identifying the people or things that constantly remind you of that person or incident. Limit your exposure to them. This may mean muting or unfollowing on social media, avoiding certain places, or setting clear personal boundaries. Protecting your emotional space is the first step toward freedom.

Win your heart

Your mind constantly replays what happened — trying to “win” the situation. It interprets defeat as a threat to survival, so it keeps you stuck in loops of overthinking. To stop this cycle, start doing things that make you feel like a winner.

These are healthy activities that make your heart feel alive:

  • Hobbies you love (singing, dancing, cooking, hiking, walking)

  • Playing a sport you enjoy

  • Reading a good book

  • Any activity that makes you feel accomplished or joyful

If you’re unsure what truly makes you happy, here’s a quick trick: think about the feeling you get when you eat your favorite food. What else in life gives you a similar sense of satisfaction? Start there. Every positive action that adds value to your life counts as a “win.”

Remember: No matter what you choose, if it adds value to your life, you are always winning.

Avoid the Relapsing Trap

When you start feeling better, your mind may tempt you to check on that person or revisit the incident. They may even reach out to you. This is a trap designed to pull you back into the cycle.

Ask yourself: are you doing this for closure, or is it just your mind’s habit of seeking familiarity? Protect your progress and focus on your own growth.

Build a New Circle

The people around you influence your life and mindset. Surround yourself with individuals who inspire growth, positivity, and shared goals. Social media can be a powerful tool here — join groups, find like-minded people, and refine your connections.

Even if you prefer solitude, the right circle is a blessing. Look for those who uplift you, challenge you positively, and align with your path of self-growth. You won’t know the benefits until you try.

Acceptance is the Key

No matter how busy you keep yourself, there will be moments when memories or feelings resurface. You can’t escape them forever — you have to face reality.

Accept what happened without overanalyzing or creating stories. Holding on to hate, resentment, or forced lessons only limits you. The lesson was about that person or incident — not about you or your future experiences. Accept it, release it, and continue living without carrying unnecessary weight.

Final Thoughts

Letting go isn’t easy, but it’s essential for your growth. Protect your heart, create boundaries, celebrate small wins, avoid traps, and surround yourself with the right people. Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting — it means freeing yourself to experience life fully again.


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